Christians are straight up FREAKS
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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