man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
