i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
