Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
