what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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