With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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