Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
