dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
