Whod you bang
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I think weed is turning my hair brown
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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