If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
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