I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
