Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
