**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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