theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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