my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
