why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
My butt remains clenched, sir.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
