Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize