I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
