he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
