Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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