I think scott just propositioned me for sex
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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