Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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