I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Panties = found
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize