Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
