I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
