i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Come on in and take your pants off
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