stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
