I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
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