Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
