my vag is so smooth its legendary
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
