Even the bartender felt bad for me
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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