How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Houston, we have a squirter
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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