I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize