Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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