i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
