Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
