took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
