and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
