Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
