Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
