it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
