talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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