Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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