I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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