Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
