I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize