Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
