Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
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