Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
