at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
