please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize