Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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