Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
