is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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