yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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