don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
