Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
