guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize