he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
