so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
you made out with another girl for some wings
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
