If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
