BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
