He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
