I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize