She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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