Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
this just has baby written all over it
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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