I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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