Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize