wat bout pragnant strippers??
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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