just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
