So drunk its hurt
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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