It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
