just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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