You made me cry and you don't even care
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
