Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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