I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Randomize
