I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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