Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
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