We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
wanna go halves on a baby?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
