All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I said "one day" and that day is not today
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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