Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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