well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
