Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
